Underwhelming Ancient Greek Philosopher’s Works Discovered Recently unearthed documents have delighted archeologists and historians alike with the discovery of a literal treasure trove of discarded writings from the almost entirely forgotten and universally ignored philosopher Moronocles (more-on-uh-cleez) who, like Plato, was also a student of Socrates. Little is known about his early life and education, but unlike his famous teacher, Socrates, who never wrote anything down, Moronocles seems to have written everything down. Every thought, no matter how useless, was preserved with painstaking accuracy and stored in a dumpster behind the home of his friend and contemporary, Plato. The voluminous cache of well-preserved documents are sometimes neatly chiseled into tablets, others scribbled on worn-out sandals or cocktail napkins--one entire manuscript is written in tiny print on the discarded toga of Moronocles’ morbidly obese neighbor Diabetes. Based on ancient sources, modern schola
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